My list of 5 things to do before I die starts with: Meet the Jonas Brothers

Meet the Jonas Brothers
No, I don't mean sneaking into their tour bus and filling the whole place with excited shrieks. Although come to think of it, it's not such a bad idea...

Jumping from somewhere high
I don't want to kill myself that way I just mean bunjee jumping or skydiving

Write a (decent) song
So it may not be a Mozart classic but as long as I don't get booed of the stage it's all good right?

Find Mr. Right
Yeah. It sounds lamer written down than in my head

Travel
See the 7 wonders of the world. No. 1 = Cadbury's Chocolate factory mmm...

Staying positive

Sorry about my last depressing post; I was in a complete moody episode last week.

Today is a new week and a new beginning though. I feel a lot better and refreshed! It's probably because the sun is shining a lot today. Summer is my favourite season because it gives me the feeling of freedom and warmth. The weather kind of plays a big part in what mood I'm in. (grey and gloomy = depressed, warm and sunny = cheerful) That isn't very good news if I live in England then because this is the country of rain and grey skies :(

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I feel depressed. Frustrated. Fed up.

It's like even when I put my heart and soul into something, it's never enough.

And the annoying thing is, no matter how much I want to give up I can't. There isn't any time left to have a tantrum and let off some steam because everything keeps piling up. I feel like I 'm stuck.

Stuck.

Stuck in this constant cycle. And no matter how much I squeal and wriggle, I can't get out of it.

How I'd spend $1,000

Give half of it to charity, save a $250 and SPEND $250!

Reading 'Just Listen by Sarah Dessen' opened my eyes

Zzzzzzzzzzz...

I'm tired (yawn) You can't blame me, it is a Monday. It was probably Rock Challenge (dance competition) last week. People were saying that I was putting a lot of energy into it. I guess I didn't realise just how much until now...

I had a Maths exam today (a real GCSE module). Maths is supposed to be my best subject but I'm sure I've failed that exam and everyone else in my class thinks they need to resit as well. Okay, so the lowest I'll probably get is a B (you could only get an A*, A, B or U on that module btw) but still that's quite bad for someone in the top set, well according to my Dad.

Have you ever noticed how parents can get pretty hard on you when you reach the "life changing exam" stage but neglect you (or at least it seems that way to me since my Dad has suddenly put quite a lot of pressure on me for GCSEs) when your doing the "smaller" exams like SATs.

I understand that my parents can worry about me and my future and my parents have told me that they don't want me to experience the gnawing feeling of disappointment if I don't get the grades I think I deserve. It's just sometimes it feels like they think that I'm unable to do it by myself without them having to tell me every few seconds. I will be 16 soon - I'm practically an adult. Just because my 10 year-old brother has to be told all the time to do simple things like comb his hair, do his homework and brush his teeth before he goes to bed (I know, it's disgusting) doesn't mean that I'm like that as well.

I'm finally starting to fit in more in school and make more friends since Rock Challenge. I mean I'm not a loner, there are people I talk to and get along with it's just that my shyness has kind of got in the way of making real friends. I did have friends in Year 7 and 8 but in Year 9 my shyness got so bad that I couldn't even talk to my friends. When I did talk to them they sometimes laughed at what I said because it was kind of a random, "last chance" outburst. The laughing made my confidence lessen even more until eventually I was just a tag-a-long. I could sense that they didn't want me around anymore but I wanted to wait until they said it to my face. They were my friends they owed me that much right? Wrong. I eventually started to go around on my own which was awkward at first but I got used to it in Year 10 I guess...

Now that I'm in Year 11 now (last year until I go to college which is the same as junior and senior year in High school for any Americans out there) I want to make more friends and have happier memories of my life in my secondary school.

Introduction

Well I suppose you'll want some background info right?

I made this blog so I could tell you what is happening in my life; an open diary which anyone can comment on or post advice. I made this blog so I could put down everything I was feeling and let out everything that I had bottled up for so long.

No secrets.
No lies.

Just truth.